When My High-school Best Friend Slept With A Teacher - A Lesson in Mob Mentality

My best friend and I were walking home from high school – it was either Freshman or Sophomore year, I can’t remember as I’m bad with dates, times.
But where I am bad with actual dates, I can clearly remember emotions. I remember the exact place where I was when she told me she was having an affair with the cutest teacher in school. In our very small Catholic school.
We were walking along the baseball field. It was spring. An unseasonably warm day. I had thought I knew my best friend – really knew her.
And yet, when she said, “I have something to tell you. You can’t tell anyone.” I had no clue, NONE, as to what she was going to confide in me.
“Mr. W and I are having an affair.”
I was horrified.
I remember staring at the ground. Then looking at the blooming flowers. I remember the smell of lilacs.
I remember a feeling of nausea and wanting desperately to rewind time.
And you have to know that I was probably one of the craziest, zaniest, “do what feels good” type of teenagers. I usually went against the grain. I got an F in religion for “asking too many questions.” I admired Madonna (Like a Virgin) not Madonna (like a pregnant Virgin).
And so that is probably why she thought her secret was safe with me. And it was – until her mother found the LETTERS he wrote to her.
I think I was probably one of the first to be sexually active – and not because I was really interested in it, but because I wanted to be the first of my friends. I wanted to be as cool as the Madonna (the singer).  I wanted to experience what the articles in the magazine Cosmopolitan assured me was my RIGHT, my privilege, my ‘power.’
Sex with teachers (in a very small town) was not something that really even entered my mind. This was pre- internet. Pre “Teacher Sleeps With Students" as everyday headlines.
And yet, I was deeply horrified.
Mr. W was a married man with kids.
Mr. W was a friend to my best-friends parents. He and his wife attended BBQ’s and parties with  my BFF’s family.
I just knew, with unflinching sureness, it was horribly wrong. It had nothing to do with religion. It had everything to do with betrayal. A wife. Children. Friends.
And then, there were students. Mr. W’s betrayal of  students, of the parents of students who trusted him.
She assured me they hadn’t “gone all the way” – that it was stolen moments of oral sex in our classrooms.
My BFF felt special – out of all the very pretty girls in our school – she was the one he chose.
I didn’t feel so sure about this – I felt that she was the one he chose to dupe. I didn’t envy her at all. She really believed he loved her.
But how could one believe a man would love you if he was cheating on his wife, on his children, on the school (a Catholic school!).
She came from a great family. A big family. A loving family. A mother that joked about sex and was more of a friend than a parent. I loved her family.
I could barely look at Mr. W the next day at school, or the days that followed. I had no one to turn to – no one to confide in. I remember warning my BFF that is just didn’t seem right. But a grown-up, a handsome, very popular grown up ‘loved’ her – she couldn’t see, she wouldn’t see, why this might be harmful to her confidence, to her spirit.
And then, when she was out of town visiting relatives, her mother and father arrived at my house.
Her mother asked me to please come out to the car.
It was a station wagon. I slid into the backseat, sitting on the edge. In the rear view mirror I could see the face of my BFF’s father. He had tears in his eyes. I’d never seen a grown man cry.
I thought my BFF had died. Why else would her mother and father be at my house?
They quickly assured me she was okay.
Then her mother started crying. She asked me to please be honest with her. She said she knew I was a good friend and very loyal, but for the safety of my BFF- she begged me to be honest.
“Is she having an affair with a teacher?”
I remember not answering. What do I do? What do I say?
I was angry I’d been placed in this situation. Watching parents CRYING because a teacher had betrayed them. Stolen the innocence of their oldest child.
Do the right thing. It’s what I’ve always been told. But loyalty to me was top of that ‘right’ list. Because if you don’t have loyalty, if you don’t have trust, what do you have?
And then, they made it very, very easy for me.
“I found letters. Behind her bathroom mirror. I was cleaning her room. I wanted to surprise her. I wasn’t even looking for anything.  I found letters. I just need to know if it’s true.”
She couldn’t believe it. Was it some kind of joke? Was it real? How could this be true?
All at once I was relieved.
My decision was easy. I couldn’t lie to her parents in the face of evidence (and what kind of STUPID teacher writes his student love letters!!!)
“Yes. It’s true.”
There was much crying. Her father started openly crying. Her mother was sobbing. I was crying.
I dreaded what would happen when I’d have to face my BFF again. I couldn’t text her to warn her. I couldn’t even call her as she was out of town and I didn’t have the number.
Of course, she was angry and hurt when she found out I had confirmed to her parents.
Mr. W was forced to resign. He (and his family) moved out of town.
Did I mention that he was a popular, well loved teacher?
I learned about ‘mob’ mentality early in life. I learned about illogical ideas, illogical people. I learned early about hypocrisy.
For the cold shoulder I got from my friend was understandable, but the anger I received from the upper classmen because their beloved teacher was forced to resign, to move, was shocking.
The football coach (and PE teacher) called me into his office.
“Why did you do that?”
I was flustered. Why did I do that?
I was at fault?
Not the grown ass teacher sleeping with an impressionable student?
“Do you think she is the first one? Do you think this doesn’t go on? Do you think I haven’t had affairs?” And then he proceeded to name some girls who had graduated the year before. Pretty, popular, girls.
I had liked him (the football coach PE teacher) prior to this beatdown I was getting. Again, I never ever suspected, nor had I even heard any rumors about girls having sex with teachers. He told me if I breathed a word, he’d make my life miserable at school.
There was no “Google” back then. No place to go to find out if this was happening to other people (teachers having sex with students, teachers threating students for ‘whistle-blowing’). Of course, I did tell my close friends what the gym teacher had said, but we were all intimidated and afraid to say anything. It was a small school. You couldn’t exactly get lost in the crowd.
I learned sometimes it was easier not to raise hell when it came to the truth if it meant the difference between living comfortably or living in fear of retaliation.
I learned that even if you have a family that seems to have it all – loving parents, great brothers and sisters, great friends, it won’t protect you.
I learned that sex is confused with love and both can destroy.
After graduation, my BFF ran into Mr. W. He was in town with the team he was now coaching.
Despite all of the heartache and pain that Mr. W had inflicted on so many people, my BFF still held a romantic idea of him. She always regretted they didn’t “go all the way.”
Well, that night, many years later, my now married BFF and Mr. W (who was still married to the woman he had cheated on) – left the bar, rendezvoused on a dirt road, and consummated what they hadn’t when she was a young teenager.
When she told me, she was a bit ashamed – more so that her husband would find out – but more than anything, I think she was proud. “He still wanted me.”
To the outside world, she is the perfect mother, wife, and friend.
I bring up this story now because I was thinking of how illogical people can be. How popular opinion can turn what is true and right (teachers shouldn’t take advantage of young kids) – a true friend wouldn’t sleep with your teenage child – into hate against the person who committed no wrong other than telling the truth.
People often criticize me for standing up when I see other people being manipulated. They think I’m crazy for going against the grain.
It took me a-long time (and many mistakes) to realize that character is everything. Thinking individually is everything.
I see the way sex is portrayed as a ‘right’ – not something to be honored between loving, people in a committed union.
And the conflict! Women are taught that using sex is powerful. That sleeping around it powerful. That being free with sex is liberating.
And then they accuse men of raping them when he doesn’t call back.
They complain that men treat them as objects – meanwhile they dress like Beyonce and leave nothing to the imagination.
In my lifetime, sex has never, ever been ‘oppressive,’ though certainly, it has increasingly seeped into YA literature, movies, tv, songs – really, there is no escape from the taunting of lizard brain desires and, just like when you’re not hungry but you see a commercial for a fabulous pizza or smell steak on a BBQ, you want it.
In a society where ‘everyone’ is openly having sex, bragging about sex; it seems to me if you want to be truly remarkable and individual, you will save your sex for the person who truly respects you. You won’t allow society to tell you there must be something wrong with you for not wanting to put out.
There are many things that happened in my past that shaped me into being outspoken and unconventional – but there is no doubt that the experience of Mr. W and my best friend; the fallout that occurred after, is one defining episode of my life.
My ‘teachers’ and my peers may have intimidated me into being ‘quiet’ when I was a teenager, but I am no longer that impressionable, and certainly no longer enraptured with what society and culture tell me I’m missing out on.
Know that as a parent, you can do all the right things, and still, if a pervert wants to take advantage of your child, he will. From experience I can tell you it is a MYTH that girls seek the attention of men if/when their fathers’ are not ‘involved.’
Girls seek the attention of men because A)It is part of nature. B)Because everything in society tell you to be of importance, you must be half of a whole.
Watch what your kids read. It is hard for me to find any Young Adult books that don’t contain sex, drugs, and violence not as a warning, but as desirable.
Don’t count on the church to give your children morals and values. Or anyone else for that matter. You need to instill that in them, and more importantly, you need to show them by YOUR action (something I learned a bit too late!).
Well, that’s all I have to say. Maybe not quite. I hope Mr. W and my old gym teacher have a constant case of genital warts. And I hope the wives’ they cheated on wised up, divorced them, and got a big fat alimony check.

Honor Flight - The Most Uplifting Experience of My Life

WWII Vet Salutes Crowd at St. Kevin Parish, Springfield PA

 On May 31 - we drove to St. Kevin's Parish in Springfield to welcome home a group of WWII Veterans who had just experienced the Honor Flight. It was one of the most uplifting, emotional, event I've ever been to. From the volunteers to the people who gathered to greet the returning Vets, everyone was extremely kind. We must never forget, and we should continue to respect our men and women in the military. Without them, we would have nothing. You can attend an honor flight event (it's free!) - just check their schedule online. Honor Flight is only doing this until they've flown all the Vets to the Memorial in Washington DC. If you can't attend, you can always watch the great documentary, Honor Flight The Movie  about how it went from an idea to a reality. It's a wonderful, inspiring, movie. Available to buy or rent on the usual suspects (Amazon) and sometimes Netflix. 

Here are some pictures from our great day. So honored to have been there.

An Honor Flight Vet becomes emotional. 

I Am In The Presence Of Greatness 

I'd rather have my picture taken with this Hero than I would Mark Walhberg!

EMS salute as Honor Flight are led by Police/Biker Escort

The picture below is of Joe Demler WWII POW who withered away to 70 pounds after he was captured. His story is one of many inspiring stories featured in Honor Flight the Movie. His motto in life: Every Day Is A Bonus!

Joe Demler WWII POW - said he survived by believing "Every Day Is a Bonus.

No Justice For Iasha Rivers

You probably don't know about Iasha Rivers. In 2014, she was an executive for Macy's in New York city. beautiful and self-less, she devoted many hours volunteering for those less fortunate.  She attended a party. She woke up the next morning in a man's bedroom. A very old man. A very rich man. She was bruised and bleeding from her vagina. She didn't remember what happened. 

She went home and confided her fear to a friend. The friend urged her to go to the ER - it sounded as though she might have been slipped something in her drink. 

Iasha Rivers faced a huge problem. If she accused the old powerful rich man of rape - what would happen to her? 

Well, she mustered up her courage and filed charges, as reported by the New York Daily News on October 14th, 2014.  I mean, she was on the board of the National Action Network. Which is about the protection and support of the black community. 

Oh, wait, did I mention that Iasha is a young beautiful black woman? The man she accused of raping her is white. Old. White. Rich. A civil rights attorney, as a matter of fact. His name is Sanford Rubenstein. He was actually kicked out of sex club a few weeks after the rape accusation. And a his ex-girlfriend (also black and very young) asked her to have an orgy. 

You would think, with all the rage against the establishment, the major news stations would report on this story. Nah, just a few New York papers who aren't afraid of the Al Sharpton machine gun. 

Oh, did I mention that Sanford Rubenstein is a life long friend of Al Sharpton? 

You would think Jezebel would report on it. They are pro-woman after all. Nah...though they believe women who drink and party shouldn't be 'shamed' if they are taken advantage of...but Iasha Rives? Well, she's black. So I guess Jezebel doesn't think she is important.

All these protests for the rights of black criminals. Male. Black Criminals. But when the  Manhattan District Attorney’s Office said they didn't have enough evidence to charge white lawyer Rubenstein, there was no outrage. No charges of white/lawyerly bias. And Al Sharpton, who makes a living being outraged by white people mistreating black people...nothing. 

All the civil rights groups tweeting out support for Iasha Rivers...nothing.
The war on women? If there is a war, it's apparent it's the left shooting us down. Take liberal Linda Stasi, columnist at New York Daily News - who did bother to write about the accusation, and said Iasha was at fault for KNOWING Al Sharpton hangs around with slime balls and Iasha deserved it because she allowed herself to get drunk (what is she didn't get drunk? What if she was slipped a drug and the New York DA is covering up for his liberal buddy?). The hypocrisy of the left is amazing - I hope Iasha Rivers realizes the mistake she made wasn't in believing in civil rights, it was believing Democrats actually care. They don't. They will sell out in a second for the sake of power, money, street cred.  

Is it because she's not a man? Is it because she's a smart woman who works and doesn't make a living deal drugs or stealing? 

The bottom line is this - Al Sharpton is a dirty, filthy, man who exploits black people, black women, and makes his living inciting hate. 

He turned on his employee. He turned on a 'sister' in favor of an equally dirty, corrupt 'mister' - but I guess because Sanford Rubenstein is rich, white is right. 

The spiral downward of America and our character, our ability to trust those in charge, lands squarely in the lap of those who "lead" our country. 

And the person who 'leads' our country is best friends with Al Sharpton (gee - Obama has young daughters who could grow up to look like Iasha Rivers...)

Al Shartpon, who owes millions in back taxes (meanwhile small family businesses are being locked down and extorted). 

Al Sharpton has been accused by Eric Garner's family of exploiting them for his own purpose (money and power).

Corporations have accused Al Sharpton of extorting them for cash in exchange for not attacking them using his "grass roots" protesters to harass them with racism charges. 

Corruption clings to Al Sharpton like spider webs in dark corners of a tall ceiling. 

Anywhere you see Al Sharpton, someone is being paid off and someone is being bought someone is being bribed.  

The mayor of Baltimore welcomed Al Sharpton and praised him. After. of course, she made sure the police did not offend looters and rioters. After of course, she said criminals should be given space to destroy. 

We can never know what happened between Iasha Rivers and Sanford Rubenstein. But from the media silence, and more importantly, Al Sharpton and NAN silence's after Iasha River's sexual assault,  we can for sure say one thing; Al Sharpton doesn't care about justice for blacks - he only cares about the color green. 

The more division he creates between black vs white, everyone vs cops,  - the more his crony pal's at the White House will be called in to 'control' the chaos. 

I don't know Iasha Rivers - but I can only imagine how heart broken she is that a cause she once believed in totally turned against her when she did the right thing. 

Where's the justice and outrage for Iasha Rivers?

Well, I guess she'll have to have a sex change operation, sell drugs, steal, and then be killed by a white cop. Because, according to liberal media, the civil rights movement, Jezebel, NOW, NAN, and Al Sharpton, a black woman being raped by a rich white guy is justice.

Hands Up For Al Sharpton - so he can take your wallet. Legs up for creepy Sanford Rubenstein so he can assault you. Eyes down when you see truth - because apparently, it will blind you. 

"Hypocrite: the man who murdered both his parents... pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan." ~Abraham Lincoln